BDSM
BDSM -- consensual sadomasochism -- can be a thrilling, deeply satisfying and transformative style of sexual play with your partner(s). The breakthrough concept that BDSM champions for modern lovers is that all interactions MUST be consensual, and clearly discussed by all. Safety and security and trust are the foundation of healthy power exchange play and exploration.
The books we suggest here are practical and empowering guides to exploring the world of BDSM.
Recommended Books on BDSM
Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely
Easy to read, easy to follow, and easy to understand, in this book the authors define and demystify the unique language of consensual sadomasochism, examine the psychological power of erotic dominance and submission, provide a carefully considered guide for safe SM play, and explain how SM can be an activity of intense intimacy and sophisticated erotic theater, as well as one of simple sexual pleasure. Combining their extensive professional credentials with deep personal experience, the result is an original introduction to a widely misunderstood realm of human sexuality. 1996, Daedalus Publishing
Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission
Rejecting theories that explain S&M in terms of low self-esteem or regressed sexuality, the authors portray sexual dominants, submissives and fetishists "as they see themselves: loving and compassionate individuals" for whom pain is pleasure and physical bondage is psychologically liberating. Different Loving is based upon interviews with some two hundred S&M practitioners. All dominance and submission, the authors explain, involves a "power exchange'' in which one partner "tops,'' or dominates, and the other "bottoms,'' or submits--whether through bondage, wrestling, whipping, body-piercing, or other means. 1996, Villard
Kink Magic: Sex Magic Beyond Vanilla
Kink Magic: Sex Magic Beyond Vanilla explores the realm of sex magic from the kinkier side. Authors Taylor Ellwood and Lupa take the intense altered states of consciousness inherent in BDSM and other fetish play and use them to create practical and metamorphic techniques. Detailed explanation of theory gives a solid foundation, while personal stories of their own spiritual adventures illustrate the effectiveness of kink magic. This book presents techniques for everything from casting sigils, to confronting--and banishing--your inner demons, to taking your sexy roleplay and turning it into powerful invocation rituals. Rather than dogmatically elaborating on the "right" way to do it, Taylor and Lupa give you ideas to apply to your own kink and magical practices, regardless of your sexual orientation or relationship status. Whether you're top or bottom, dominant or submissive, or even the most flexible switch, you'll find plenty here to take your practice deeper and farther than ever before. 2007, Megalithica Books
The Kinky Girl's Guide to Dating
When the guy your mother warned you about is exactly the guy you're looking for, the usual rules of dating aren't going to help you out much. Learn from one girl's mistakes -- and she's made some doozies -- as you find out what life is like for a single woman today in the world of dominance, submission, BDSM, fetish and kink. The personal ads and the chat rooms, the fetish clubs and the leather conferences -- for the single woman whose sexual fantasies run toward the unconventional, the options are bewilderingly numerous. The rewards are tantalizing: love, excitement, unparalleled sexual thrills. But the risks --loneliness, sorrow, even violence -- are real and frightening. These are hilarious, sexy and often very touching stories. 2004, Greenery Press
Everything the amateur player needs to know about heterosexual, male-dominant love-making. Warren - aka Mentor - is a longtime participant in the dominance/submission scene. As he guides readers through this world, he offers clear-eyed advice that will refresh and enlighten the most well-informed erotic explorers. Most importantly, Mentor discusses the hidden basis of the D/S relationship: the care, trust and love between partners. 2008, Greenery Press
Bottoming - being a submissive, masochist, slave, `boy` or `girl,` or other BDSM recipient - is as much an art as topping. The New Bottoming Book is filled with insights about how to be a successful, popular bottom! It includes new sections on dominance/submission play, bridging the gap from on-line to real-time relationships, the four stages of a scene, and more. 2001, Greenery Press
Tens of thousands learned the emotional and ethical skills of BDSM topping from the first Topping Book. Now, in addition to the sage advice and good humor that made the first edition a classic, the authors tackle some of the issues that have come up for tops in the last six years: on-line domination, the challenges and rewards of `lifestyle` relationships, ensuring our own and our partners` safety, and more. 2003, Greenery Press
Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships
Respected scene leader Rinella has carefully explored how BDSM relationships fit into real people's lives. From that research, and his own two decades as an active leatherman, he has assembled this sensible, readable manual about how kinky relationships really work. You'll learn how to decide what you want from a relationship, find partners, distinguish between fantasy and reality, negotiate agreements to accommodate your changing needs and desires, resolve conflicts, and much more. 2003, Greenery Press
Radical Ecstasy: SM Journeys to Transcendence
Leather, tantra and spirit combine in this revolutionary sex book, which partners BDSM and sacred-sex practices. For millennia, seekers have used physical and emotional extremes to achieve transcendence and exaltation. Today, many BDSM and leather practitioners are discovering the potential of SM practice to reach personal, interpersonal and spiritual goals. With trademark frankness and humor, these popular BDSM/sexuality authors share techniques using tantric breathing, visualization and movement with BDSM to create states of transcendence during solo and partnered sexual and practice. The authors also document their own journeys into the realm transcendent kink: one author journeys Eastern and pagan spiritual paths while the other struggles to accept bliss. They share their triumphs, too: when conceptual frameworks cease to matter and bodies and spirits combine in radical ecstasy. 2004, Greenery Press
Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond
Modern tools of BDSM, fetish, kink and erotic adventuring have roots that go far back into history, tools that have been used for reaching altered states of consciousness, creating spiritual epiphanies, and changing lives. In Sacred Kink you will find practical tools for your own sensual exploration. 2010, lulu.com
Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures
This book addresses a wide range of issues that confront those who practice S/M as part of their overall sexuality. It debunks many widely believed myths regarding S/M utilizing empirical research. Kleinplatz and Moser contribute to a view of S/M that moves away from pathology, toward a pro-active and responsive view of sexuality. 2006, Routledge
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism
Screw the Roses enthusiastically covers all the basics and even some of the not-so-basics--bondage, negotiation, sex, endorphins, dominance and submission, toys, safety, S/M community, and beyond. It's written primarily from the point of view of male dominant/female submissive interactions, but it's easily translatable into valuable advice for any relationship configuration. Miller and Devon's explanations of not just the how, but also the why, of sadomasochism are honest, sexy, funny--and a must-have for anyone who wants to learn about sadism, masochism, dominance, submission, or bondage. 1988, Mystic Rose Books
Sensuous Magic 2 Ed: A Guide to S/M for Adventurous Couples
Need help with your riding-crop technique? Wonder how to wrap your husband like a mummy? Or maybe you caught your girlfriend wistfully eyeing a pair of handcuffs in a shop window and simply want to know how to bring up the subject with her. Sensuous Magic has the answers. Patrick Califia-Rice has updated his classic introduction to S/M and power play to embrace couples of all persuasions and at every stage of experience. Although not a comprehensive technical guide, Califia-Rice's text offers insightful warnings, advice, and commentary, the kind of guidance you might expect from a seasoned mentor. 2002, Cleis Press
SM 101: A Realistic Introduction
It goes by many names: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and more. In SM 101 Jay Wiseman insightfully and accurately presents the long-taboo subject of consensual sadomasochism in the context of adult human sexuality, experience and tradition for the interested general reader. The book surveys the entire spectrum of consensual sadomasochistic practices from bondage, to spanking, to erotic role-playing, and more. 1998, Greenery Press
